Empowering Techniques for You and your Child to Overcome Bullying Trauma

Bullying is a traumatic experience that can have long-lasting effects on a person's mental health and well-being. If you have been a victim of bullying, or you know someone who has, it is important to acknowledge the impact it has had on you and take steps to empower yourself to overcome the trauma.

It is good practice to seek the help of a professional to help address the affects of bullying. In the meantime, here are some empowering techniques that can help you in overcoming the effects of bullying:

1. Self-care: Practicing self-care is crucial in overcoming bullying trauma. Sit the young person down with you and explain to them the concepts I talked about in the blog on this website called ????? Reassure them that the problem is not within them, rather it is inside the bully. Bullies feel so bad inside that they instinctively want to make the bullied person feel the pain also, either in verbal or physical assaults. Emotional regulation is important to develop when the upset child comes to you. This can be achieved by sitting in front of them or beside them if that feels more comfortable for them and taking some gentle but full breaths for a count of 5 on the in breath - hold for 5 - and exhale for 5. Repeat this 2-3 times.

2. With reference to the ??? video as shown on this site in the video resources, follow along with the child by tapping on the specific points on the head and upper body and hands. This might look a bit silly but remind the young person that there is only this moment, NOW, and the purpose of the tapping and talking is to give a voice to how they feel while sending a calming signal to the part of their brain - the survival part - and this will help them feel calmer and more grounded.

3. Explain to the young person that it is normal to feel anxious, fearful and feel their body shaking and to cry when having been bullied, and that is their body's way of encouraging them to stay on high alert to keep them SAFE. This is a good coping strategy initially, but suggest to them that by talking out loud how they feel - especially how upset they feel - they can begin to let all of their feelings OUT and begin to get balance in their mind and body. Liken it to a pressure cooker with the lid screwed down - not before long the pressure builds up and this is not good for our health in the long run. Tapping and talking lets the 'emotional steam' out and returns the mind and body back to normal.

4. When the child begins to settle down, ask them 'how would they like to FEEL?' Then ask them what would they be doing to FEEL that way? Get them to make up a scenario such as being on their favourite beach in the sunshine with family and friends; playing their favourite game with other fun people; spending time with their pet dog or cat; whatever makes them FEEL good in that moment. The tap in that made up scenario and see the child begin to relax and lighten up. The aim of this visualisation and feeling tapping exercise is to show the person that they can reduce and dissolve the sights, sounds, feelings, tastes and smells of the upsetting incident by saying out loud all of these while tapping and then replacing them all with new positive FEELINGS and what they see and hear in their new made up scenario. IMPORTANT: Aim to sit down with your child as soon as possible after the bullying incident. The sooner you act, the easier it is to change their mood and this will become a habit for them to get into to begin making permanent changes to their mental and physical state. Creating the made up scenario settles the child down and when this is achieved daily, and positive affirmations are added such as 'I am worthy, I count, I love, like and accept myself, I can turn this all around, I am important....etc using some or all of these and make your own up too; then the child will begin to RESPECT themselves more and ACCEPT themselves more and on an unconscious level they will FEEL better about themselves and the bullies will sit up and notice. Think how powerful a group of healing children would be who all use these techniques to empower themselves so that they can live life feeling safe and strong!

5. Check out my illustrated children's story book available on Amazon called 'Courageous Like Charlie and Lucy Likes To dance.' This book contains two stories that will take the reader through exactly what I am talking about here, with a resource at the back of the book for the parent, caregiver or teacher to adapt the use of tapping to the particular issue the child is experiencing. Make tapping and talking your own. Play with it. Make it fun. Your and your child deserve to live a happy and fulfilling life confident in their own abilities!